Sunday, January 25, 2009

What happened to cool during the '70s?

I've come to the realization, that my parents' generation suffered the greatest breakdown-in-cool ever observed by mankind. You see, as a kid growing up in the '70s I could do nothing more than observe the insidious wave of non-cool to ever sweep the nation.

You might be thinking to yourself, come on...was it really that bad, and how pervasive was this plague of non-cool? Well, I'll let you be the judge, here is a list of symptoms that I observed:

#1 Total disregard for your kids self respect

#2 Owning a vehicle referred to as a "station wagon"

#3 Adding new paint colors and features to cars that God never intended, such as:


  • pea-green (aka puke green)

  • big and bold brown

  • baby bonnet blue

  • Yuck yellow

Optional features:
  • Fake wood paneling

  • A back seat in some models of station wagons that actually faced oncoming traffic (yeah, that was a great idea... : )

#4 Purchasing clothing that had the words: "bell" and "bottom" in them.

Getting back to the station wagon. You know why they called these land yachts 'station wagons', because they took so much fuel to operate that you couldn't venture far from a gas 'station'. Also, they were modeled after some wagons (see image below).

I mean what happened?
Between the '40s and '60s, our parents came up with some really cool ideas, such as:

  • Hey, why don't we build a space craft and go to the moon?

  • How much horse power can we cram into an engine, and still legally drive it around.

  • Let's promote the use of bikinis on U.S. beaches

  • Skateboards

  • Adopting the surfing craze that had been pretty much been confined to Hawaii before that time.

This is just a few examples that prove that something went terribly wrong when our parents started reproducing.
I truly believe that 'cool' took a little hiatus during the '70s and early '80s. Also, you should know that I've forgiven my parents. Forgiven them for what? you might ask. For the humiliation that resulted by being driven around in the family station wagon, and dressing me in the ugliest clothing ever to be invented by mankind.
I truly believe that there was an unspoken competition between many parents of who could own the ugliest car. We may never know for sure if this competition was real of not, because most parents are very tight lipped about this issue. Apparently, they took an oath of silence or something.
It is painfully apparently, that the winner was decided by who had the most embarrassed kids.
However, we all know that the real losers were the kids. Anyway, just look at the picture of the station wagon attached to this post, does'nt it make you wonder: what where they thinking?!

1 comment:

  1. My parents TORTURED us with station wagons. This hit home!
    The worst one we ever had was a two-tone blue (midnight and powder) with wood paneling and a rear facing seat in the back. This is what I had to drive when I got my license. NOT COOL in the '80s.
    I"ll never forgive my parents for this atrocity.
    Great post!